I sometimes experience waves of shock – surprising moments of sadness that roll through me like a sudden thunderstorm, sometimes lasting minutes, sometimes lasting days. Like the first anniversary of Owen’s death when I couldn’t breathe for two weeks. Like … Continue reading
Tomorrow is the first anniversary of Owen’s death. I’m going underground for a few days. Angus has taken me up on my offer to take the day off as well, although he’s already warned me he may or may not … Continue reading
My son had died two days before. The autopsy had only just been completed and we hadn’t yet sorted out funeral details. So we had an appointment with Cynthia, a funeral director at the Morley Bedford Funeral Home. A short … Continue reading
I was a panelist at a symposium yesterday at The Hospital for Sick Children, in Toronto. I was very much looking forward to participating as it merged two significant areas of my life: social media and patient advocacy. It all … Continue reading
I am coming to a new way of thinking about death. Which inevitably also means I am coming to a new way of thinking about life. Writing about Owen is one way I am getting there, and reflecting on an … Continue reading
The process of writing the book has taken an emotional toll. And you might think this reaction is odd, but: I’m surprised. I had thought, “It’s my story anyway, I already lived it, shouldn’t be hard to just write stuff … Continue reading
Owen’s 13th birthday is in 2 weeks, on August 18. We’ll be in London UK at the time for a 10-day vacation. We’ve decided to go up in the London Eye that day because Owen would have loved it. I … Continue reading
“What do you think Owen wants?” What does he want? That’s easy. I know what he wants. He wants to eat like a normal kid and I’m sure he would NOT want that tube thing stuck inside of him! “Maybe … Continue reading
Owen’s ashes are still at Michael’s. This was supposed to be temporary – a holding place until we could make arrangements for a scattering, or a burial or a place at the mausoleum. It felt like a big decision we … Continue reading
School. Make-work, fake-fun, baby-sitting. Some nice moments, but probably not what you think. One such moment: he went out for recess with an older boy, and watched while his assigned ‘buddy’ shot a few hoops. Cool, I thought. Owen probably … Continue reading
Owen died on October 24. A Sunday morning. 6 months exactly to Easter Sunday. I’m not the sentimental type and I rarely even note birthdays, never mind half-anniversaries. The day did not arrive with any dread and it did not … Continue reading
A brief hiatus from writing and publishing for our two-week spring break, so stay tuned for more in a little while. This has been an important journey for me, and I’m so grateful that you’re following along. In the meantime, … Continue reading
I’m doing some research for the as-yet-unnamed and still-to-be-defined project I’m working on. I found the following excerpt from an email correspondence with my dad, dated February 24 2009. This passage jumped out at me and I want to share … Continue reading
The day after Owen’s death, before Angus returned to school, Ms. M gathered the children and told them that their beloved classmate Angus had experienced a tremendous loss. This class was a new formation; a blended class of children aged … Continue reading
Thank you to everyone who has reached out to us in the last few weeks. I can find it hard to connect with others (especially in this forum) during such a deeply personal, inward time but I have certainly felt … Continue reading