I have had only one nightmare about Owen, ever. It creeps into my waking mind occasionally and really freaks me out.
It’s a winter night – dark, cold and snowy. Owen is missing. I don’t know where he is. But I see in my dreaming mind’s eye that he is shivering and wet. And naked. Lost in a snow bank – covered by snow but contained in a small pocket of air. His eyes are bugging out, like when he used to have these strange ‘spells’ – seizure-like breath-holding episodes that would end in a deep gasp and exhaustion and would leave his skin a pale blue colour. In the dream, he’s scared and lonely and confused. I feel despair creeping in but am determined to keep looking anyway, through the dark night and blowing snow.
Hang on Owen. I’m coming.
That’s so frightening and I so get it. Keep looking…our kids need us.
oh…the angle of that little wrist gets me every time…too familiar…
I hear you,Jennifer. I always had one, repetetive bad dream as well… only Shane was in the cuddy of our boat sleeping, and I realized the cabin had filled with water, and I couldn’t get in to get him out…and those blue eyes were looking at me through the water…imploring me to come and get him….and I just couldn’t reach him….the worst part of having that dream was always how long it would linger after waking again.
But even though the dream is bad, Owen knows you are relentless in your seach of what is best for him…and he benefits from that every, single day.