My child was born with severe, chronic, multiple disabilities. Our path was not so much about fixing his problems as it was about ‘maximizing his potential’ and ‘harnessing his natural abilities’. A modern and enlightened approach certainly, especially when compared to the mindset of previous decades. But let’s be real: even with this generous perspective, … Read more
For sure the gaps are closing. I’m being reabsorbed into the morass of everyday life, where I get to worry about mundane things and small things matter a lot and I whine about what can aptly be called ‘first world problems’. The reintegration is almost complete. Just this morning, I have run out of milk … Read more
I am coming to a new way of thinking about death. Which inevitably also means I am coming to a new way of thinking about life.
The process of writing the book has taken an emotional toll. And you might think this reaction is odd, but: I’m surprised.
School. Make-work, fake-fun, baby-sitting. Some nice moments, but probably not what you think. One such moment: he went out for recess with an older boy, and watched while his assigned ‘buddy’ shot a few hoops.
I’m doing some research for the as-yet-unnamed and still-to-be-defined project I’m working on. I found the following excerpt from an email correspondence with my dad, dated February 24 2009.
My grandmother died recently. I met her once or twice when I was a young girl, but only knew her through photos and rare stories through my parents.
I have spent the past 11 years fending off misconceptions that I must hate my life and that I must be angry or depressed about my son.
(I got it! It came to me this morning. And it’s so very unCanadian.) I am not going to help you through your discomfort and make it all better. I can’t. And I don’t want to.
Sometimes I cheer people up. Not because I try to, but because sometimes people will compare their own stresses to what they assume are mine and will be drawn to ‘count their blessings’.